The Blu Gunderson Podcast
by Nepsotic
Summary: Three birds are sat in a recording studio in london.     "Jo, yours on?"    "S'alright, yeah"    "Chris?"    "yep, mines on, lets start"   "Ok, hello, and welcome, to the Blu Gunderson podcast"
1. Episode 1

**AN: Info on competitions.**

**There are radio-style competitions on this, if you wish to enter, either put your answer in a review, or PM me, leave a name (it can be fake) and if you want, a nickname (possibly in quote marks in between first and second name), obviously you wont actually get prizes, but, y'know, it's all good fun :D**

The Blu Gunderson Podcast: Series 1

Episode 1

*Three birds are sat in a recording studio in London, a blue one taps the microphone*

Blu: Hello! And welcome, to the first, in a six part series, The Blu Gunderson Podcast, with me, Blu Gunderson, and I've got here with me, Chris Bailey

Chris: What am I doing now?

Blu: Well just saying hello.

Chris:… Hello.

,Blu: *Sighs* and…Jo.

Jo: Alright.

Blu: Chris being my best friend when I first came here to the UK. Those who are not aware of Jo-

Chris: Haha…

Blu: He's just my little experiment, cuz' I've seen him blossom, from an idiot, into an imbecile…

Chris: *Sniggers*

Blu: and I wanna see it through further, so, without further ado, welcome, to the Blu Gunderson show.

Chris: Why is it the Blu Gunderson show shouldn't it…

Blu: I dunno, I was sceptical from the start, it should be the Jo show. It's like, I'm the ring leader, but He's the star.

Chris: Haha!

**The Blu Gunderson Podcast, on fanfiction .net**

Blu: So, Jo, what have you been doing for the past few weeks here in the uk, you ever been here before? What 'dyou think?

Jo: S'alright innit?

Blu: What have you been doing with your time here, anything good? Fly to the top of big ben? What?

Jo: Well yeah, s'been alright, I've been like, playin with insects, watchin 'em run around seein what they do.

Blu: aHAHA! *Laughs hysterically* Yeah!, That's! that's you all over!

Chris: Glad to see you doing something constructive with your free time, Jo.

Blu: So, so you've been watching insects, have you seen 'em doin anythin interesting?

Jo: I saw an ant, sort of, kick it's height.

Chris… what, what d'you mean?

Jo: You know, when you kick your leg up in the air to your own height?

Blu: hahaha! And, and why was an ant, kicking it's height, as you put it?

Jo: dunno, it was just sat there, cuz' normally you see 'em runnin' around don't ya? Tryin to look busy, when really there just goin in circles.

Blu: Ahahaha! Yeah!

Jo: Yeah, no, but this one. It was just sat there kickin' it's legs about, I mean I tried to kick my height when I was little.

Blu: And did you do it?

Jo: Yeah, I did it an everythin', but cuz' I was concentratin' on getting my leg up there, I sorta', I forgot to put it down again.

*Blu and Chris laugh hard*

Blu: Haha! "Forgot to put it down again"! Haha!

Chris: "Forgot to eat the other day"!

Blu: "Oh, I forgot to breath last night" "Why's that" "Tryna' kick my height!"

Jo: No, but what I mean is… I don't really know what I mean…

Blu: And out comes the truth!

Chris: What I've been thinking, is that we can make these… insect stories, a regular thing? What do you think, Jo?

Jo: Yeah, sounds like a good idea

Blu: how about just Jo in general? Just news from him?

Jo: Yeah, S'alright

**The Blu Gunderson Podcast, on fanfiction .net**

Blu: Jo, what I've been wanting to know about you for ages, is your religious views, what, are you, you know, Christian or what?

Jo: Well, I don't really know, I mean, it could of happened, I mean, look at Noah's ark for example.

Chris: You don't believe it?

Jo: No, I think, like I said, it could of happened, I mean, it's in book form, so… you know the story, he built a-

Blu: whoa! Rewind! Your saying you _believe _that Noah's ark happened because its in book form, but, according to that, doesn't he get two of every animal? But, we know that's impossible, don't we?

Jo: It's big.

Blu: But come on Jo, how big would this boat have to be?

Jo: It's a big boat, I mean, I don't know where he was floating where he got two of every anima-

Chris: Well exactly! Your questioning it! Where could he get all those animals?

Jo: Yeah but that's what I'm sayin, a zoo.

Blu: A zoo doesn't have 1 percent of every animal species, plus it would have to be a colossal ship!

Jo: It's big! It's a big bo-

Blu: You can't just keep saying it's big, Jo!

Jo: Right, well how long did god give him to do it?

Blu: well I dunno.

Jo: It was quite a couple of weeks.

Blu *sighs*

**The Blu Gunderson Podcast, on fanfiction .net**

Jo: I uh, I've been watching a lot of stuff lately…

Chris: Yeah?

Jo: And uh, the other day, I was eating a bit of biscuit, and I looked down, there was a little crumb, moving. I 'ad a closer look, but there was 'nowt there.

Blu: So what are you saying?…

Jo:…Bacteria

Chris: Ha ha! What!

Blu: Talking sh*t, AGAIN!

Jo: Think about it-

Blu: It was the wind, you imbecile!

Jo: No, but listen, that bacteria, germ, whatever-

Blu: Didn't 'appen! Did not happen!

Jo: They're 'gettin bigger, they all are.

Blu: Oh, shut up.

Jo: No, but think about it, soon there'll be 'gettin massive , we'll be choking on 'em-

Blu: aHAHAHAHAHA!

Chris: Haha!

Blu: No! no it's, no, your…wha, y- YOU'RE AN IDIOT! What, you think there's gonna be giant hairy bacteria, wanderin' around, eatin' biscuits? "Well I've 'ad 'mi McVities, time to grow!" Doesn't happen, Jo!

Chris: Complete and utter nonsense.

Jo: Well…

Blu: Right, we've put that to bed.

**The Blu Gunderson Podcast, On fanfiction .net**

Jo: Been uhhh, thinkin' about stuff, y'know-

Blu: What d'you mean? What stuff?

Jo: Like, y'know, competitions and stuff, that we can do, you know-

Chris: Yes…

Jo: I've come up with one, I think it's pretty good, y'know.

Blu: What is it?

Jo: It's called, Songbusters.

Chris: Why, it's not like a-

Blu: Is that supposed to be like, a, a Ghostbusters thing?

Jo: Well it's not that bad is it?

Blu: Yes.

Jo: Well, y'know, titles a work in progress.

Blu: Yeah, well…

Jo: Anyway, what happens is, we get a verse, or a line, probably a line, y'know, can't be that long.

Blu: Come on!

Chris: Your keeping a very small amount of people waiting!

Blu: haha!

Jo: Anyway, you get a line, or a verse-

Blu: Ughh…

Jo: And, you take out a word, maybe a couple-

Chris: Right…

Jo: This weeks, I've got, quite an easy one, y'know, it's the first one-

Blu: So what've they gotta do?

Jo: Right, it's fairly easy, you've just gotta email us, the missin' word, the song name, or artist, both if y'can,.

Blu: Right…

Jo: Like a'say, it's quite an easy one, y'know, cuz' it's the first one.

Blu: Shall we play it then?

Jo: …Yep.

**Blu presses a button on a panel in front of him.**

_I've paid my _, time after time…_

Jo: So it's, a relatively easy one this week, so you know…

Chris: Like Jo is attempting to say-

Blu: *Sniggers*

Chris: -if we can get the missing word, song name, and artist if you want, email us at podcast (at) blugunderson .bz

Jo: Alright.

Blu: Prizes?

Jo: Yep, we've got uh, a few DVD's to give away. There's, a classic episode of _Doctor Who_.

Chris: That's fine, very popular show, go on.

Jo: Yeah, it's, a Jon Pertwee one, it's called, The Sea Devils.

Blu: Brilliant. Next?

Jo: Next, it's uhhh, the complete first season of _Marble Hornets_, -

Blu: Ok, I'm gonna stop you there, Jo, I've never heard of that, what is it?

Chris: To be fair, I know what that is, it's sort of like a homemade series about a guy, who's being followed by, well, I'm not gonna give too much away, but it is very creepy, it's an internet series, right, Jo?

Jo: Think so, anyway, next up, we've got _Rio_, very funny, CIG movie.

Chris: Sorry, have you just said CIG?

Jo: Yeah, it's a CIG film innit?

Blu: HAHAHA! CIG! CIG! Oh god! It's CGI you, ugh, just carry on…

Jo: So yeah, that's on BluRay.

Chris: Have you ever seen that, Blu?

Blu: No, it's pretty new isn't it?

Chris: Yeah, it's supposed to be quite good.

Blu: Anyway, Jo?

Jo: Yeah, last one, is _The Sixth Sense, _good film. So yeah, that's, that's it.

**The Blu Gunderson Podcast, on fanfiction .net**

Blu: Well, that's it then, thanks for listening, it's goodbye from me, bye from Chris-

Chris: Bye!

Blu: And of course, goodbye, from the hollow-headed, dim-witted, bird named Jo!

Jo: Alright

**The Blu Gunderson Podcast, on fanfiction .net**

**AN: Well, that's it for the first episode, any suggestions or Songbusters answers, put it in a review or PM me! Thanks!**

**PS: Bleeped out a couple of words cuz I want it to be a T, and spaces between url addresses because stupid fanfiction .net wont let me post addresses or (at) thats why i couldn't put the symbol.**

**Nepsotic…**


	2. Episode 2

**AN: well here's the second episode, I tried so hard to wait a week to upload it (that's SUPPOSED to be when a new episode is released) but I just couldn't so here it is, also thanks to ARSET27 who got the Songbusters question right.**

**Again, if you want to answer questions or enter competitions, review or PM! (Don't follow the email address, otherwise you'll just be a Jo)**

**The Blu Gunderson Podcast, Episode 2.**

Blu: Welcome back, to the Blu Gunderson Podcast, I'm Blu, with me, Chris and Jo.

Jo: Alright.

Chris: The old team, back together!

Blu: Well I don't think it's that, we haven't been away that long.

Chris: Well what else are we gonna put in the intro after "Hello".

Blu: Why don't we just carry on then?

Jo: Alright.

Blu: Jo, what are you gonna bring to this show now? What's been happening?

Jo: Err… what, in this place or just my life?

Blu: Well, what have you got for us? You've had a week to prepare, we come back, you get Mondays off, your getting paid for it, me and chris, are here every day. You've got a cushy deal, your having a laugh, your taking the mick out of management. Right, so, what have you got for us?

Chris: Give it to us.

Jo: well, I've, kind of uhhh, updated songbusters a bit, renamed it Rockbusters-

Blu: See, that's a good name, cuz' Blockbusters, yes, that's fine, go on.

Chris: Right, brilliant, yep.

Jo: Right, so- an- You said don't mess with it, something's good, don't mess with it.

Chris: What do you mean? it wasn't good.

Blu: Ha, it was never good! You used to do something like it on our old radio show! For those of you who don't know, we um, did a radio show for a few years didn't we, Chris?

Chris: Yeah, I remember Rockbusters, it was never good, of course it wasn't good!

Blu: It was fun to do, it was a laugh, like I said, you used to have a thing called Rockbusters on the radio show.

Chris: Yeah, he used to give cryptic clues, and they had to guess the song name or artist.

Blu: They weren't cryptic, the classic example for me was, "He wants a boat, why's that?" Be on sea, Beyonce.

Chris: Oh, god.

Blu: I mean, I imagine it was more fun for me, than the 450 listeners.

Chris: Haha!

Blu: I imag- Know what I mean? I enjoyed it. I enjoyed squeezing your head, and dressing you up, and-

Jo: No, but that's just it, when I had a meeting with Graham, the radio manager guy-

Blu: MD…

Jo: I said, "look, I'm not being funny, I don't want to do it anymore, I've had enough of it," and he was like, "Oh, whats up with you? It sounds like you have a right good laugh, that's, you know, old, good acting, and stuff." I said, "yeah, but its hell in there"

Blu: *Sniggers loudly*

Jo: Erm, I said-

Blu: Like he's talking about Vietnam!

Chris: Yeah!

Blu: Haha!

Jo: Er, having mi' head squoze.

Blu: aHAHAHAHA! "SQUOZE"!

Chris: Haha! What!

Blu: "SQUOZE"!

Chris: Its still not a word! We've been away a week, it's still not a word!

Jo: I said, "He's putting, a dustbin lid, on mi' head".

Blu: aHA! He told this to the MD!

Jo: "He's hitting me with a tray, he's chucking toilet paper at me" And he said "Yeahh, but that's all over two years" I said "No, that was the same day!"

Blu: Ha! Hahaha!

Chris: aHahaaa!

Jo: So…

Blu: What, has changed in three months? They're listening! They've been listening for five minutes, now, Come on! Give us something! What's happened, in the past week!

Jo: What, in my life, or, here?…

Blu: Yeah, yeah.

Jo: Nothings happened here nothings changed here. But, er, Dy'know, Last time we were on?

Blu: What, the radio?

Jo: Yeah, Right and uh, I was telling you about, that woman, in the house across the road, where I live.

Blu: Oh, is this the one that walks about the house naked?

Jo: Cuz' I live, on the edges of the city, there's a few flats opposite my tree, and there's a woman in one of the flats, and she walks around naked, right, an-

Blu: Oh, this was when Jo was watching a woman, naked, then she looked at- s-saw 'im looking at her, what he did, this is the genius he did to get out of the situation. He moved his back feathers up a bit, so he was practically naked too, she could see through them.

Chris: Hahaha!

Blu: His mate comes in, and goes "Jo, what are you doing?" _He _went, "I can't tell you now, but don't look out of the entrance".

Chris: Hahaha!

Blu: So, yeah go on.

Jo: This, women, she's uh, she's bought some blinds.

Blu: aHAHAHA!

Jo: I don't know what the big deal was, I'm only a bird.

Chris: Says the guy who showed his ass to a human woman.

Blu: HAHA!

Blu: Ok, we were talking earlier about things that have happened recently, and before the first one when we was away for three months.

Chris: Quite a lot.

Blu: Quite a lot, but there's one thing I heard, it might be a rumour, I _hope _it's a rumour, I kept it from you Chris, cuz' I wanted you to, sorta' have spirits up, you know. Ok… I'm just gonna say it…shedsvenspliup.

Chris: Sorry I didn't-

Blu: Shed 7 have split up…

…

Chris: …I um- sorry I think I got something in my eye..

Blu: *Sniggers lightly*

Chris: I- uh, just a bit dusty *Mumbles*

Blu: O- Ok, if it's true, it's true, and if not.. At- at least we got their music… Their music, Their music!

Chris: Their music… their music lives on and so we are gonna dedicate this show, to… (Mumbles-) Shed7, and all the bands they influenced…

Blu: I put on one of those message boards, "Is it true, shed7 have split up?" and someone came up and said, "You are joking,"

Chris: Hahaha!

Blu: aHAHAHA! Oh, oh god, what else-

Chris: I just pray that it's just a rumour.

Blu: It is just a rumour, yeah, I think so, just, you know, call in if its true.

Jo: Tell you what I saw, on internet,

Blu: Sharks, monkey's, or, jellyfish…

Jo: Er, well we haven't done, a little bit of knob news.

Chris: Those of you who don't know, knob is, the British term for penis, I don't know why Jo says it-

Jo: Works better dunnit', you can't say d*ck news, doesn't work.

Blu: Your right, we haven't done knob news in a while, no.

Jo: But erm,-

Blu: It's been 3 months.

Jo: There's this thing, uh, I don't know the full story, I don't know how it happened, right, but little, little Russian uh, little Russian fella', err, he was, sort of having a- …emptying his bladder.

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: Right, and some how, electrocuted himself.

Chris And Blu: Right

Chris: Hey this is merging two of our greatest features, Knob News and Jo's Stories!

Jo: And, uh, sorta' did a bit of damage, to his tackle, and erm, so the doctor, err… I can't even be bothered.

Blu: aHAHAHAHA!

Chris: No! Go on, We're interested! We're interested! Wh- Come on! Don't give up!

Blu: You can't be bothered, you get Mondays off, do some work!

Jo: Alright, so anyway, the doctor says "Aww, not looking good, we'll have to take that off-

Blu: What, the, penis, really?

Jo: Mm, but the funny thing is, right-

Blu: Nothing funny about that.

Jo: They've done err… Your doing me' head in!

Blu: *sniggers*

Jo: Your doing me' head in!

Chris: Just tell the story!

Jo: He's doin' me' head in!

Chris: Oh you can chill out on Monday.

Blu: I've only got 10 minutes but I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk to you every Saturday, I'm gonna get the money's worth, out of this, cuz' you get Monday's off, and I can't- I can't bear the fact that someone's getting away with, sommet' like that. Cuz' it's terrible. So your gonna stick this out, or, your gonna have to work Mondays. So take it on the chin, right, ok.

Chris: Just, finish the story! I command you!

Blu: Yes, just do it.

Jo: Anyway, so they've said- said, you know, will you be able to sort me err, sort me a little knob out. But… They put him out, right-

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: To do operation.

Chris: Yep.

Jo: He woke up:

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: Right, and he's thinking, aw, thank god, that's… over and done with-

Blu: Yeah.

Jo: They've only grown it on his arm!

…

Blu: What are you talking about?

Chris: Hahaha!

Blu: You… d*ck, shut the f*ck up.

Chris: Whoa, Blu!

Blu: He's, Y- YOU'RE AN IDIOT! What do you mean, they've grown it on his arm!

Jo: Apparently, like, that's- that's the way they do it.

Blu: Oh bu- Yeah th- They didn't put it on- that wasn't a mistake, there wasn't a doctor goin' "Does it go there?"

Chris: Haha!

Blu: Some guy goin' "I di- I didn't do a degree"

Chris: "Are you a real doctor?"

Blu: aHaha! Yeah!

Jo: No but- but why put it there?

Blu: Cuz' it's gotta graft- Its gotta grow, Its gotta graft there where they can control it, the sk- the skin tissue.

Jo: But on your arm… They use those things a lot.

Blu: Well-

Jo: What about on the back?

Chris: What do you mean, on the back?

Blu: On your back?

Jo: Somewhere- Well he can't wear a T-shirt.

Chris: He's in hospital!

Jo: No, but they'll leave it there for quite a bit. It's not, like do you know what I mean, it's not just gonna be there for a few days.

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: It's there for a bit. That's not good is it?

Chris: So he's got a cock on his arm.

Blu: Yeah, what's up with that?

Jo: What do you mean, what's up with that?

Blu: Well, I mean you could say it's- it's a- it's a thumb or summet' couldn't he?

Chris: Ha!

Blu: Yeah.

Chris: Well they remove it!

Blu: Be good for hitching.

Chris: Then attach it, you know, later.

Blu: If you had a penis, instead of a thumb, and you went hitchhiking, just tickle it, they could see it, like, a mile down the road, couldn't they?

Chris: aHa, Boasting!

Blu: Hahahaha! Yeah! If I lost my wang, I'd go "aww, I'm not gonna have all that stuff, just, whack a pair of tits on me".

Chris: aHahaha!

Blu: Do you know what I mean, I'd think, "Just forget it".

Chris: Man, you've seriously changed, since I first met you.

Blu: I hope that's a compliment.

Jo: But why not just put it where it should be straight away, instead of messin' about with it?

Blu: Where should it be straight away?

Jo: You know…

Chris: On the forehead.

Blu: *Sniggers*

Jo: Uh, are we doin the competition now, then?

Blu: But Jo, you can't be bothered! Ok, scrap this, and you can work Monday's again!

Jo: (Mumbles) shut up…

Chris: Oh Blu, shouldn't you do a jingle for this?

Blu: Ok, erm… (high pitched) _Ooh, what's he missed out this time the little fu-*Mumbles*._

Chris:…Rockbusters

Blu: Haha!

Jo: Right, last weeks winner was, well he didn't give a name, and he's calling himself this, ARSET27, well done to him, he won the DVD's. We just pick out the first right answer that comes in, he got it, congratulations, the answer was "Dues", We Are The Champions, by _Queen, _he got all three. Here's this weeks:

_Take my hand, and we'll __****__ it, I swear_

Blu: Right, there it is, the new, revamped, Rockbusters. If you know the artist, song name, and missing word, email us at Podcast (at) Blugunderson .bz And whatever Jo gives as prizes, I'll throw in a signed photo of him, we've had a lot of emails, people think he's a star, your gonna be a phenomenon, what do you think?

Jo: S'alright innit?

Blu: *Sniggers*

Chris: aHaha!

Blu: Prizes?

Jo: Yup, cartoons this time, we've got _South Park, The Complete 15th__ season_, _Family Guy, Season 10, _and _Resident Evil: Degeneration_, that's a good, CIG movie…

Chris: That's it then.

Blu: Yep, we'll see you next week, where we'll waste another half hour, of your lives! Bye!

Jo: Alright.


	3. Episode 3

_Sorry I took so long to update, but I have Dongle internet, and cuz I'm pretty much a kid, I don't always have enough money to top it up, so apologies, but anyway, 3rd__ Episode, again with the Rockbusters blah blah, you know the story, same as the starring out some words, here we go!_

Chris: Lets do a couple of openings, lets do a couple openings.

Blu: Yep.

…..

Chris:… Well you better say something.

Blu: Hm.

Chris: Well I think you should say, welcome to Blu Gunderson, on, on fanfiction.

Jo: Am I on this one or…

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: What for?

Chris: We're doing an intro! Say hi or something!

Jo:… Hi?

Chris: No! *Sniggers* Le- Let us do the introduction! We're doing two introductions for two shows!

Blu: *Giggles loudly and high pitched*

Chris: F*ck me…

**The Blu Gunderson Show, Episode 3.**

Blu: Right, welcome again, to the Blu Gunderson show, on uh, on this Fanfiction Podcast. With me, Blu, Chris Bailey-

Chris: Hel-

Blu: And of course, sorry.

Chris: Thanks, *Sniggers*, Hello there.

Blu: And of course our uh, our producer, Jo.

Jo: Alright.

Chris: Jo can I ask you a question?

Jo: Go on, then.

Chris: I know this is what a lot of the fans are already wondering… Is there gonna be some Jo News today?

Blu: There's gotta be.

Jo: Course there is.

Chris: Yeah? Alright.

Jo: Stupid question.

Chris: Right.

Jo: Jo's Good News.

Jo: You know what I really never understood with giants, how they actually got that big in the first place. Coz' what food was around to make 'em, coz' not only were they like big big, but they were muscley big. Blu: They ate whole cows, probably. It's now well documented, Jo.

Chris: Jo, you know they don't actually exist and never have.

Jo: Mmm… well…

(Silence)

Chris: Okay.

Blu: I remember once right, I used to love nature when I was sort of about 4, 5, 6-

Chris: Haven't you always loved nat-

Blu: Yeah, but I used to be obsessed then.

Chris: Right.

Blu: And I remember Linda letting me out once, so I went to see two of my friends, pigeons, and uh I used to get worms and things, anything, I loved nature, and once I found this perfect snake skin, like a grass snake or an adder. I couldn't believe my luck and I was going "look", and they were going ok put it down, and I realised they were a bit scared of it and they were going "put it down, it's dirty" and of course I'd torture them a little bit, I thought this was hilarious, and they made me leave it there. Much later when I had some friends round when I was about 12 or 13, I was tellin' this story to embarrass them and I was going "and yeah, she was scared of it" and she went "well, it was a used johnny". She waited that long to embarrass me in front of my friends.

Chris: Oh, god!

Blu: I'd been running round with a used Durex, thinkin' that this was great coz they were scared of snakes and they were going "put it down, it's dirty, be careful of the poison"

Chris: That's horrible.

Blu: It is horrible isn't it, have I gone too far again?

Chris: How could you not realise, it was made of rubber for goodness sake. You obviously didn't know anything about nature, oh I used to love nature me, can't tell the difference between some skin and a rubber johnny.

Blu: Now, be careful of the condom snake, with their little poppy head and their poison.

Jo: Had a pet fly

Blu: Did ya?

Jo: Called Maggie.

Blu: What you mean you captured and didn't let it go away? You can't have a pet fly.

Jo: But then it got really vicious.

Blu: Well it was probably, let me go, what you keep it in, a sandwich box?

Jo: Nah it flew around but it used to just like come to me all the time, but then it started getting' vicious an'

bitin' at my head and stuff.

Blu: (laughs) That's definitely a pet fly, that's definitely the same insect flyin' around the tree every time.

Jo: No, no, but I could hold it and stuff it wasn't scared o' me and it knew it was me, it used to come down from like the top of the...

Blu: It hated you that's why.

Blu: Give us another question, Jo?

Jo: I had a good one 'ere..

Chris: But you've forgotten it?

Jo: I sort of scribbled it down.

Blu: (laughs) This is brilliant innit..

Jo: 'Ang on a minute...

Blu: We can edit this out, cant we? It's not live...

Chris: Yeah, thank god!

Blu: (laughs) This is gonna look great when it comes out, go on.

Jo: Which food...

Blu: Yeah...

Jo: Erm...

Chris: Jo, are you now making up the questions?

Jo: No no, it's just that I sort of took down the important bits.

Blu: This is amazing, this is amazing podcasting… go on.

Jo: Which food, kind of doesn't make you fat?

Blu: Jesus!

Chris: (laughs) What kind of a question is that!

Jo: Baguettes… wanna know how they happened?

Blu: Oh yeah! Come on then, how did baguettes come about? If this is gonna be someone cooked a loaf a bit wrong and said I can still make a sandwich out of it, I'm gonna hit you.

Jo: No, no, no, no. no.

Blu: Go on then.

Jo: Right, Napolean, when he was at war and that with erm, Russia...

Blu: 1812 yeah.

Jo: All his soldiers were like you know, not used to the cold weather and that, so take some clothes in a bag with you coz its gonna be a bit nippy out there, so erm they put all their clothes in a bag...

Chris: Sure.

Blu: They did what they were told, it's Napolean for Christ's sake.

Jo: But erm, no room for any food.

Blu: You're joking, couldn't they make some sort of sandwich?

Jo: No, it wouldn't fit coz they've got all their extra clothes, they had to take extra gear, so erm anyway... Chris: I can see where this is going, I'll be honest.

Blu: Is there a baguette shaped gap left in their holdall?

Jo: They thought let's make some bread that you can fit down your trouser leg.

Chris: What!

Blu: Ha! Hahaha! That's not true!

Jo: I read it in a train station after our last Podcast.

Blu: What, scrolled on the wall in graffiti?

Chris: Yeah, was it also meet me here for cock fun at 12 o'clock?

Blu: Time for Jo's Good News then?

Chris: Do the jingle then?

Blu: Oh, wait, I haven't got a jingle for this.

Chris: Do one now then?

Blu: Hmm… (Mumbles inaudibly) err,Idunnomb mbm… Jo'sgoodnews…

Chris: Right…

Jo: Right, 'Ere's one for ya, it's like insect facts and stuff, erm if a human was a flea...

Blu: He could jump over St Paul's Catherdral.

Jo: Nope, wrong, it's gone up now.

Blu: Ha! (laughs out loud)

Jo: It's the big wheel.

Blu: It's gone up now! It's gone up now! You're the best.

Chris: This is the worst one we've ever done.

Chris: Jo, what was it you told me as well when you came in? Just Jo's thought for the day. Jo, what did you tell me when you came in? Coz it was miserable out...

Jo: It is a grim day in London, erm...

Blu: (laughs) I like it already.

Jo: I was thinkin', could you imagine dying today?

Blu: (sniggers)

Chris: Go on, explain more though?

Jo: Just because when you're dying you're always like in your tree in you're nest and...

Blu: Always.

Jo: And you're family is always there...

Blu: Always yeah?

Jo: And erm, I just thought can you imagine lying there lookin' out your tree, coz they do that as well, they sort of lie near to the entrance to get a bit of light on your face, and I just thought what a day, if this was like your last day, could you imagine?

(pause)

Blu: Well, thanks for listening-

Chris: But then go on, you made an even more profound point. You said that instead of dying on a rainy day you'd prefer to...

Jo: No, if you died on a bit of a nicer sunny day then it's not so bad.

Blu: (laughs)

Jo: No, it's your last day lookin' out on the world, and look at it… don't you agree?

Blu: Yeah.

Chris: I thought that was a beautiful point, it was poetic almost.

Blu: It was, wasn't it.

Chris: No the point was, what upset me was that you said you'd been thinking about that today on the way in and it upset you, my point was that if you think about the people that are dying any day it'll upset you, d'you see?

Jo: Yeah but you don't think about it when it's sunny, coz' you think well they'll be alright today, they won't be that annoyed.

Blu: (Laughs high pitched and loud)

Chris: Ow.

Blu: Annoyed! Annoyed! Think of that! Oh I'm dying today..

Blu_: What's he missed this time, the little f*cking… _(mumbles)! (Shouts loudly and high pitched in a sing-song voice) _ROCKBUSTERS!_

Chris: Ok, now that can't have been fair on anyone' ears.

Blu: Haha! Sorry! Anyway, last weeks winner goes to… Your not gonna believe this, Chris.

Chris: What is it?

Blu: Again, goes to ARSET!

Chris: Wow! He's on fire isn't he!

Blu: You're not kidding! Anyway, he's won the DVD's, well done again!

Chris: Yeah! He, he's gotta be our biggest fan.

Blu: Yeah! He loves us, he loves us so much don't ya Arsetters!

Chris: Anyway, congratulations to him, missing word was _make, Livin' on a Prayer, by Bon Jovi, _now onto this weeks. Jo?

Jo: Right, this time, we've got a bit of an 'ard one for you.

_When the blood dries in my veins, and my ***** feels no more pain, I know, I'll be on my way, to heavens door._

Jo: So there it is, got answers, email 'em in, Podcast Blugunderson .bz

Chris: I don't want to even mention the prizes…

Blu: Are they terrible?

Chris: Well unless you're a fan of VHS…

Blu: Ha! (laughs, high pitched) All you had to do! All you had to do!

Chris: 1 quid's worth of Bruce Almighty.

Blu: Quid?

Chris: Sorry, I forget you're a yank.

Blu: Shut your flat face! I'm not familiar with Bristol slang!

Chris: Just cuz' I'm from Bristol doesn't mean that's from Bristol, that's just plain English slang.

Blu: Whatever.

Chris: Pounds then.

Blu: Jesus Christ… Bruce Almighty on VHS… All you had to do, was right a couple of things for the show and get the prizes, VHS! VH… (Starts laughing again, loud and high pitched)

Chris: Again… I've heard people on the streets say stuff like, "aw, it must be great to be a friend of Blu's!"

Well do you fancy that down your lughole every day?

Blu: Hm, it's a strange thing my laugh.

Chris: Some people think it's funny but…

Blu: But yeah, when your cooped up in a small room with me for half an hour…

Chris: Maybe if you tried to calm yourself every time Jo says something I might leave here without a headache.

Blu: (Sniggers).

Chris: Like that, that's perfect, just stick to that…

Blu: More crap prizes, Jo?

Jo: Yeah...

Chris: Actually we have got a decent one, some sort of Doctor Who anniversary box set, and a Queen CD, Absolute Greatest.

Blu: Right that's, Rockbusters.

Jo: Alright.

Blu: Well, that's it for another week.

Chris: Thanks for listening, to this, utter, drivel.

Jo: Alright.

_I do honestly hope to update soon, but I've said about my internet so, I don't know if that will be possible, but I will probably update within two weeks, but if I don't, don't worry, I assure you I'm not dead, unless I am, in that case I am dead and you should worry, on topic, next week I'm adding a new feature called Questions For Jo, so if any of you have anything you want to ask the genius himself, review or PM, thanks!_

**NEPSOTIC…**


	4. Episode 4

_Man, I thought I took a while to update last time! Anyway, here it is, and I can't believe no one got the Rockbusters!_

Blu: Hello, welcome again, the, the terrible trio, we've been busy for a while so sorry for no podcasts recently… but er-

Chris: The boys are back in town!

Blu: Ha! Exactly! But er, I'm gonna be honest straight away, I've done very little work towards this show and-

Chris: You surprise me!

Blu: Haha! Anyway, so I'm gonna apologize if it sounds a little-

Chris: Thanks for being honest though, Blu(!)

Blu: Well, you know, I don't want people to go "Oh, it was a bit shoddy this week, I hope it's not gonna be like that every week".

Chris: Yeah…

Blu: So, it is because I've done very little preparation.

Chris: Ha, Ho kay!

Blu: So…

Chris: Right. Because normally…

Blu: You'll probably have to help me out.

Chris: Right.

Blu: You'll have to do some of the… some of the work- Jo, you might have to… help us out a little bit as well… Cuz I know Chris' done nothing towards it either… so… The pressures on you a little bit here.

I love the fact that it's still listed as either Blu Gunderson, or Blu Gunderson and Chris Bailey, in the… you know.

Chris: Essentially we don't need to be here really.

Blu: No, I know now people listen for Jo.

Chris: Mm.

Blu: Everyone I've spoken to, you know…

Chris: Anyway…

Blu: Ooh… stuff, stuff to do…

Chris: Whats goin on, whats been appenin?

Blu: Stuff to… talk about… Oh, yeah… before I came in, oh you saw it didn't you! That experiment I was doin.

Chris: Haha, an experiment?

Blu: Yeah.

Chris: All I know as I came in the building, I passed the little kitchen area, you, were hitting… Jo on the head with a tin tray?

Blu: Didn't it make a good noise!

Chris: It was a great noise, erm, but I… explain more about the experiment cuz…

Blu: Well I wanted to see how hard I could hit him and make it resonate, before I fall to the ground, or before… I either caved his skull in, know what I mean? so, you had to hold it quite loose…

Chris: Ok…

Blu: So it could like, vibrate. But, you had to grip it hard enough to give him a good whack. And his heads brilliant for hitting stuff on…

Chris: haha, Is it?

Blu: It is perfect! Cuz it's like-

Chris: Jo, could you recreate that moment a bit later on the show?

Jo: You'll notice that… you've been on for ten minutes, I haven't said a word. So, it's had a bit of an effect on me.

Blu: aHahahahahahahaaa!

Jo: Still… Still a little bit shaken…

Chris: Ok.

Blu: Ohh, Dear me!

Jo: But, yeah, do it again later.

Blu: We were talking about your head a little bit earlier weren't we?

Chris: It's not gonna mean that you're a bit, sorta, fuzzy thinking, is it?

Jo: ah… I dunno it might.

Chris: Yeah…

Jo: So…

Chris: Can we do that later perhaps towards the end of the show? Just hit you on the head with various objects? See which make the best sound?

Blu: We were talkin about _time out, _the book thing, _time out, _he went "Aww, d'you read that?" I went "yeah, I get it every week, yeah", He went "Aww, theres no point though is there" he said "Because it's like a telephone directory, you know, if you wanna look sommet up, look it up, but you never sort of browse a telephone directory", and I went, "That's an interesting point", He went "Although I did".

Chris: Ha!

Blu: He went "When I was in Scotland I just looked up how many Mac's there were and there's 42 pages of them".

Chris: Hahahaha!

Blu: How bored are you, to suddenly start working out, how many people start with Mac.

Chris: Did you… you were sat in the room, there was nothing else that you could think of doing-

Jo: It's when we went to Scotland that time, it was an 'ard day, sat in the room, waitin to go out and get some food an' that, sat there-

Blu: Why were yu _waitin' _to go and get some food-

Jo: Cuz we were gonna meet up, we were gonna meet up with, you know, with simon and that, right.

Chris: So, so you thought I'm not gonna go out for a fly, I'm not gonna go and see my friends, I'm not gonna read a magazine-

Jo: I 'ad a look around the room, 'ad a couple of free shortbreads-

Blu and Chris: AHAhahahahahaha!

Blu: Haha! I love the fact he remembers! He re, he remembers the specific biscuit he had!

Chris: Yeah.

Blu: That's fantastic!

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: Anyway, 'ad a couple of them, erm, looked around, there was a bible and I thought, well I know about that.

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: Theres nothing in that I don't know so,

(Blu Starts laughing silently)

Jo: So I opened the phonebook up and got the-

Blu: I'm surprised you could lift it!

Jo: No, no, it was already out, anyway, opened that up, and immediately thought, theres a lot of "Mac", this and "Mac" That in Scotland-

Blu: Yeah:

Jo: Macintosh, Macatear-

Chris: Macdaddies…

Jo: There was loads of names so I though, I wonder how popular it is-

Blu: Ckk! "I wonder how popular it is!"

Jo: 42 pages of Macs.

Chris: Did you count, how many pages there were?

Jo: Yeah.

…

Chris: Did you just work out from the numbers on the bottom of the page or did you literally-

Jo: No, I counted, I counted.

Chris: Right.

Jo: And err-

Blu: And how many do you think there on a page? Theres a lot In't there? Approximately how many-

Chris: Sorry, how long did it take you this whole procedure?

Jo: What, the countin'?

Chris: Yeah.

Jo: Not that long, 42 pages… so its not that much-

Chris: once you… once you digested that information, what did you do with that information did you-

Jo: Well I stored it dinna? I mean look, how long ago was that?

Blu: Ha! I stored it! Hahaha! Along with the biscuit! I'd love to get in his head! I imagine theres a big warehouse and theres lots of old partitions for weird stuff like, kids born with tentacles… and things like that.

Chris: I imagine theres like, quite an old caretaker and you go In there say I'm looking for the… and he says, ang on, ang on, I know where I put that somewhere, angonangonangonangnangon.

Blu: The Mac's? The Mac's? wheres that? "I know, Scotland, shortbread!" "No, don't gimme the shortbread cuz that's puttin me off, but erm-

Chris: Should we move on now? Rockbusters?

Jo: Well, last weeks winner was Lizzie from the USA, well done, but I havent got one this week.

Blu: What do you mean you havent got one this week!

Jo: Well I don't really wanna do it anymore.

Blu: You are unbelievable. I'm not even gonna go into it here, you better fly when you get out there, boy!

Chris: well I guess that's it then.

Blu: I guess, see you later, three listeners!

Chris: haha! Bye!

Jo: Alright.

…...

_Sorry, short I know. I know ive been away a while and I havent exactly "Come back with a bang", also don't know if I will finish my other fic as I don't like to have too many things going on at once, and I rarely have internet connection, so sorry about that, but I will try to get next episode up ASAP, but sorry if it takes a while…_

**NEPSOTIC…**


End file.
